


The Man Next Door

by Dangit



Category: One Piece
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, First Meetings, M/M, Sanji is not gay, The Author Regrets Nothing, Two Shot, he's a DAMN liar
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-16
Updated: 2016-03-16
Packaged: 2018-05-27 03:05:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,569
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6267031
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dangit/pseuds/Dangit
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sanji's pretty good at remembering faces, so when he says he's met his green-haired neighbor before, he means it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Man Next Door

**Author's Note:**

> short little something from a prompt I forgot I read somewhere in Tumblr. Can't exactly remember the prompt, but the idea stuck with me.

Sanji is not gay. 

He likes women. No, actually, he _adores_ women. He was born to love women, his whole existence is for the single purpose of loving them. They are god’s gift to humanity, each and every one of them beautiful to the last follicle of hair, each one so complex and amazing, so worthy of devotion and love.

So no, Sanji isn’t gay.

So why is Sanji currently watching gay porn in his room, a sticky white mess covering his thighs?

Well, the answer to that question lies a week before, in the very first moment Sanji noticed the For Sale sign was gone on the house next door.

Sanji is not exactly neighborly, but he did talk to the people next door a few times. They were an elderly couple, quiet and loving, and Sanji used to drop them a meal every once in a while, mostly because the elderly lady always rewarded him with the best cookies he has ever tasted. And that includes his own.

But when her husband passed away, her children decided it was time to move her to a senior home, and so they put the house up for sale. And it stayed that way until the early weeks of May.

The moving vans arrived first. Sanji kept an eye out for his new neighbors, but all he ever saw through the first few days was the workers move the furniture in. Whoever his new neighbor was, they had extremely good taste. Simplistic and modern, everything had that expensive look to it.

And of course, that brought on the attention of Sanji’s favorite neighbor, Nami.

“Who do you think is moving in?” she asked one day over coffee, watching the moving men bring in a large bookcase followed by several boxes marked with bold, block letters spelling BOOKS. Robin was going to love this new neighbor, too.

“Hopefully it is another gorgeous lady,” Sanji said. “We can never have too many, you know.”

“Does that look like something a lady would own?” Nami asked, perfectly stenciled eyebrow arched as what looked like a professional gym set was moved in.

“Perhaps a very fit lady,” Sanji said, though he doubted it, too. “We don’t need any more men around.”

“Oh, I don’t know,” Nami hummed. “He looks loaded. I’m gonna go ask when the owner is moving in.”

“But Nami—!”

There was no point in trying to stop her. Honestly, Sanji was a little curious, too. With a flutter of her eyelashes and a simpering smile, Nami found out that owner was indeed a guy, and that he was scheduled to move in at the end of the week. The movers couldn’t tell her anything else without getting in trouble, so Nami let the matter drop.

Until that Friday, when Sanji woke up to the sound of insistent knocking and opened his door to find Nami waiting for him with a wide, slightly terrifying smile.

“He’s here,” was the only thing she said, but Sanji’s eyes still zoomed in on the black Mustang parked next door. It was an older model, perfectly kept and maintained, and Sanji quickly groaned.

Definitely a guy. Probably an asshole, too.

“Let’s go say hi,” Nami said, tugging at his wrist.

“Nami, I literally just woke up,” Sanji groaned. “I haven’t even brushed my teeth yet.”

“Yeesh, I can tell,” Nami said, delicately covering her nose. “Alright, I’ll wait for you. But it’s 9:30 Sanji! I’m disappointed in you.”

“I had a late shift yesterday,” Sanji excused.

With Nami eagerly waiting for him in the kitchen, Sanji quickly showered and then convinced her to wait while he prepared a quick and delicious breakfast. She somehow managed to convince him to prepare enough for their new neighbor, and after brushing his teeth and spritzing a bit of cologne, the two of them walked the few steps leading next door.

Nami knocked a couple of times before a loud “I’m coming!” sounded.

Yup, definitely a guy.

Sanji was ready to greet a jackass, probably a tallish, muscular guy most likely wearing a muscle shirt and basketball shorts. 

The door opened and the first thing Sanji noticed where steel grey eyes. They locked with his, the stare heavy and dark, and for a second Sanji was rooted to the spot. Then those eyes moved to Nami, and he was free to study the rest. Tan, perfect skin glistening with droplets of water, sharp and angular features, harsh yet kinda pretty in a dangerous sort of way. Broad shoulders and ample chest tapering down to narrow hips. A perfectly sculpted stomach marred by a grotesque scar, the tan skin puckered and slightly lighter in shade, the end of it reaching underneath the flimsy towel covering the man’s…uh, _manhood._

“H-hello,” Nami stuttered out, eyes wide and mouth slightly open. 

The man frowned and leaned forward to rest his arm against the doorframe, hip cocked and biceps bulging with the slight effort. Nami’s breath escaped her lungs audibly.

“Who are you?” he asked, voice dark and deep.

Nami opened her mouth a couple of times to talk, but nothing came out.

“Good morning, neighbor!” Sanji exclaimed rather loudly, trying to save Nami’s honor. The guy wasn’t _that_ hot. Okay, maybe he was, but so was Sanji! And yeah, maybe Sanji’s shoulders weren’t so wide, but he was muscular, too. And perhaps he didn’t have any wicked scars and his skin was too pale, nothing like this golden, glistening, dark…okay, the guy was kinda _okay_ looking. “My name is Sanji and this is the lovely Nami. We just wanted to welcome you to the neighborhood!”

The man glanced at him, frown deepening a little, but his body seemed to relax. “Name’s Zoro.”

“We brought you breakfast!” Nami almost shouted, turning a turnip red when Sanji and Zoro turned to look at her. “I mean, if you want it.”

Zoro glanced at the casserole in Sanji’s arms, then shrug. “Yeah, thanks. Come in.”

He stepped back to let them through and Nami walked inside, reluctantly followed by Sanji. He jumped a little when the door closed behind them, but Zoro simply motioned forward and led them to the living room.

“I just got out of the shower,” Zoro said. “Make yourselves comfortable while I go put some clothes on.”

“I can warm this up if you want,” Sanji said, lifting the casserole a little. 

“Kitchen’s through there,” Zoro said and walked out.

As soon as his footsteps had died down, Sanji left towards the kitchen and Nami hurried after him.

“Oh my god, he’s so fucking hot,” was the first thing Nami said, practically falling into one of the barstools. “Did you see his shoulders? And his stomach? And god, those _hands_ …they were huge!”

“He has green hair, Nami,” Sanji said, rolling his eyes.

“Details,” Nami said, waving her hand as if to get rid of the comment. 

“He looks kind of familiar,” Sanji frowned thoughtfully. “I swear I’ve seen him before.”

“Maybe in the Baratie?” Nami shrugged. “You do get a lot of rich people in there, and by the looks of this place, he’s loaded. _And_ he’s hot? God must really love me.”

“I have a pretty good salary,” Sanji quickly defended, frowning. “And I’m not ugly or anything.”

“But you’re like a brother to me, Sanji,” Nami said. “We gave it a chance, remember?”

Yeah, he does. She had kissed him a couple of months ago during a block party, and it hadn’t been as amazing as Sanji had hoped. Of course, it was pretty mind-blowing to have _Nami_ kiss him…but there were no fireworks, no butterflies, no weak-knees…nothing like what the romantic in him said a true love’s kiss was supposed to be like.

It had broken his heart to find out Nami wasn’t _the one_.

“Something smells good.”

Sanji looked up, startled to see Zoro by the kitchen entrance, now dressed in low-hung jeans and a plain white tee that was probably two sizes too small. Damn this guy, being able to look hot in something as simple as jeans and t-shirt.

“Sanji is the best cook in the state,” Nami said, warming Sanji’s heart. “Possibly the country, but we haven’t tested that yet.”

“My beautiful Nami, your praise has made my entire year!” Sanji simpered, “my love for you grows fonder with every second!”

“Yes, yes,” Nami said, patting his arms. “Is the food ready?”

“Ah, yes,” Sanji said, turning off the oven. “Where you do keep your plates?” he asked Zoro and the man motioned towards one of the cupboards.

“I guess over there,” he said. “Moving guys put everything away.”

“So what brings you over to our little neighborhood?” Nami asked resting her elbow on the counter, her chin resting on her hand. Her legs crossed in a very deliberate way, and Sanji was sure Zoro was checking out the long, pale length of Nami’s beautiful legs. 

“New job,” Zoro replied, shrugging. “And a good recommendation.”

“What do you do?” Sanji asked, perhaps a bit more demanding than necessary.

Zoro raised an eyebrow, half a smirk on his face, but he simply grabbed the plate of warm food Sanji offered and sat down next to Nami. “I’m the new Head of Security at Thousand Sunny Enterprises.”

“Wait, you’re the old high school buddy Luffy was talking about?” Nami asked, surprised. 

Before Zoro could answer, a loud knock startled them. Zoro had barely stood up before the door slammed open and loud laughter warned them of their friend’s arrival.

“Speak of the Devil,” Zoro muttered.

“Zoro!!”

“Luffy, you broke the lock!”

“Hey, Zoro—FOOD!!”

Luffy skidded across the kitchen, completely ignoring everyone in his quest to get his grubby hands around the leftover casserole still cooling off on the stove.

“Hey, guys,” Chopper said apologetically, shrugging a little uncomfortably by the entrance. “Um, nice to meet you,” he told Zoro. “I’m Chopper…I live across the street.”

“With your parents or something?” Zoro asked, arms crossed.

“N-no. I live with my cousin.”

“Chopper’s our resident genius,” Nami said, smiling kindly at the blushing young man. “He’s Robin’s youngest cousin. You’ll meet her later, she travels a lot for work.”

“I know her,” Zoro muttered. “Luffy, stop eating my food.”

“This is Sanji’s food!” Luffy declared. “It’s delicious! Oi, Sanji, you’re cooking for us on tomorrow, right?”

“What’s tomorrow?” Sanji asked, confused.

“Zoro’s welcome party!” Luffy said excitedly. “We’re gonna have a huge party in Franky’s backyard! You _have_ to cook for us.”

“Oi, I never agreed to that,” Zoro snapped, but he was ignored.

“You could’ve given me more warning!” Sanji snapped, but he too was ignored.

“It’s gonna be amazing!” Luffy laughed. “Everyone’s coming! You’ll get to meet everyone, Zoro.”

Sanji rolled his eyes and shook his head when Zoro opened his mouth to argue. “Don’t bother, he won’t change his mind. It’s best to just go along with it.”

Zoro resignedly closed his mouth and sullenly turned his attention back to his breakfast.

With Chopper hiding the wrong way behind the entrance, Nami enraptured by Zoro, and Luffy practically devouring the casserole, it seemed like finally they were getting a normal addition to their neighborhood.

Good, Sanji could do with some normalcy.

 

Despite the short notice, Sanji had never failed Luffy when he asked for food. It was ingrained in some basic part of his being to provide to those in hunger, and Luffy _was_ always hungry. Besides, he was a little eager to see Zoro again. Not because Sanji wanted to _see_ him per say, but because Sanji was sure he had seen the man somewhere before and for the life of him, he could not pinpoint _where_.

And so, the next day he arrived bright and early at Franky’s place where he went about preparing the grill for a long day of Luffy’s eating habits. Usopp and Chopper arrived around an hour after him and left with Franky to buy disposable plates and utensils, along with drinks, meat, and snacks.

Robin and Luffy surprisingly arrived together just as the fire was burning hot enough for Sanji to start cooking the first slabs of meat, and Robin somehow managed to rope the guys into helping Sanji prepare the side dishes.

To no one’s surprise, Zoro and Nami arrived together next, Zoro sporting a deep frown and Nami with her arm already wrapped possessively around Zoro’s muscled bicep.

The last to arrive was Brook, but the man marked the beginning of the party since his music brought liveliness to the afternoon’s events.

“Your food is as delicious as always, Mr. Chef,” Robin said in lieu of an introduction, walking up to stand next to him behind the grill. “Have you eaten anything yet?”

“I’ve had a bite here and there,” Sanji lied. “Can’t really walk away from the grill with Luffy around.”

“Why don’t you go enjoy yourself with the others?” Robin asked delicately. “I can keep an eye on these.”

“My beautiful Robin, I could never ask—.”

“I insist.”

Sanji gulped and nodded. He handed her the metal tongs and grabbed himself a beer before heading away to grab a seat by the pool next to their celebrated arrival.

He was sure he had not seen Zoro at the Baratie before. Sanji was pretty good about remembering faces, especially those of his clients. Perhaps he had seen him in passing? Green hair was pretty hard to miss, but Sanji wouldn’t have paid too much attention if he’d just seen him…say, in a coffee shop. He was a security guard, perhaps he had once worked as a bodyguard for one of Sanji’s clients? He had met a lot of people through them, after all.

“Can you stop staring at me?” Zoro growled, startling him.

“Sorry, I just…have we met before?” Sanji asked, finally giving in to his curiosity.

Zoro frowned. “No, why?”

“You just…look really familiar.”

Zoro glanced at him, surprised. Sanji was startled to see his gaze run him up and down, before Zoro looked away and fixated his gaze on Nami. “Is that so?”

“Yeah…” Sanji murmured. “Maybe in a picture? You and Luffy are good friends, right?”

Zoro seemed to relax on his chair. “Yeah, that must be it. I’m in a couple of the pictures Luffy keeps at his place.”

That was probably it; Sanji had never paid much attention to the many pictures Luffy had on his walls, but he had probably seen him in passing. “Yeah, probably,” Sanji agreed, but for some reason, he was still hesitant.

Sanji returned to the grill for a couple more hours, but he knew Luffy well enough that if he didn’t pull the breaks, Luffy could continue on eating for the rest of the day. Even then, the party lasted well into the night, only ending when Chopper started nodding off in one of the chairs and Robin took him home. Brook offered to walk her home since she lived farthest away—though Robin was more than capable of taking care of herself—and with the music gone, the party just wasn’t the same.

Sanji offered to walk Nami home and was forced to hear her talk about her plans of getting with Zoro.

“He’s super hot, he’s got a steady job, and he makes good investments,” Nami counted off. “He’s perfect, Sanji!”

“Nami, it’s been two days,” Sanji reminded her. “You can’t really say you know him. What if he’s a pervert? A psycho? What if he has an addiction to buying As Seen On TV stuff?”

“He’s Luffy’s friends, how bad can he be?” Nami shrugged.

Sanji snorted. “Brook collects panties, Usopp is a pathological liar, and Franky likes walking around in his underwear. I’m pretty sure Zoro has something wrong with him, too.”

“You’re just worried because you can’t figure out where you’ve met him before,” Nami accused. “East Blue is a small city, Sanji. Maybe you’ve seen him walking down the street.”

“Maybe,” Sanji muttered.

“Don’t worry about me,” Nami said, stopping at her door to turn around and look him in the eye. “It’s just dating. If it doesn’t work out, I’ll just dump him. Hey, I’ll make you a deal, okay?”

“I’ll take any deal of yours, Nami-san!!”

Nami rolled her eyes. “If neither of us is married by the time we turned forty, we’ll marry each other. How does that sound?”

Sanji’s knees buckled with emotion, but he was able to stay standing. “I will make you the happiest wife in the world!”

“Yeah, sure you will. But for tonight, goodnight.”

“Goodnight, Nami-swan!”

Sanji waited until Nami walked inside and locked her door to sprint towards his home, more happy and excited that he’d been in ages.

Marry Nami! That was the dream right there. So their kiss wasn’t perfect, so what? _She_ was and that was all that mattered. Nami, with her beautiful red hair and her gorgeous pale skin. Nami, with her chocolate doe eyes, and her plump pink lips. Nami, with the sinful length of her legs and the ample size of her breast, with her tiny waist and wide hips, her perfectly round—

Fuck.

Sanji froze in the middle of untying his tie, distracted the warm stirrings in his stomach. Shit, he knew this was going to happen. He glanced guilty at his window, where the lights from Nami’s house were still visible. She was beautiful, so of course Sanji was going to have thoughts like these…but he still felt guilty when entertaining the thought of doing something so…dirty with her in his thoughts.

But the feeling wasn’t going to go away, so he had to do something about it.

He sighed and continued sleeping his tie off, quickly followed by his shirt and pants. He undressed completely and climbed into his bed, grabbing his laptop and a bottle of lube from his bedside table.

He was half-hard already, but he knew from experience it was best to find a nice video before he even started touching himself. Otherwise, his mind would wonder to the mysterious Robin or the jaw-dropping Nami, and that was a big no-no.

Sanji was not afraid to admit he had a monthly prescription to one of the sites, thought thankfully no one had asked him yet so he had never, in fact, admitted it. It was a private thing, so it wasn’t like Sanji told everyone he met he liked watching porn.

Besides, he only did it once in a while. Once in a month. Perhaps once a week. It _wasn’t_ that often.

The home page already had a few videos loaded based on past preferences, so he clicked on one with a dark-skinned beauty, completely different from Nami. The woman was beautiful, but the video showed too much of the man, and Sanji kept getting distracted by him, so he quickly picked another video, this one showing two women on the thumbnail.

It was good, but it also made Sanji feel like he was spying on a real couple, not to mention lesbian porn always made him feel like he was taking advantage of women.

And then, as he was browsing the threesome tag, he saw it.

Green hair and tan skin, steel grey eyes.

Sanji clicked on the link without thinking and his mouth fell open as the video started with a low sweep of Zoro’s naked body.

Because yes, that _was_ Zoro starring in a fucking porno, perfect body in stark display.

He looked younger, hair shorter and chest missing that unforgettable scar, and even though he wasn’t as big as he was right now, he was still perfectly muscled.

Sanji’s eyes swept over twin scars at his calves, following the thick length of his muscles thighs, the narrow V of his groin, the cut and chiseled plane of his stomach, his wide chest and long neck.

Thin lips and narrow nose. Captivating eyes locking with his even through the screen.

And then, to Sanji’s immense surprise, a second red-haired man appeared on the screen, followed by a beautiful girl with pink hair.

Sanji watched as the redhead kissed Zoro, his hands roaming the long expose of his stomach, his long pale fingers wrapping around Zoro’s thick length while the woman kissed and nipped at his chest, her hand rubbing his thighs.

He knew it was fake, it _had_ to be fake, but it looked _so real._ How they wanted Zoro, how they worshipped his body, how they needed him.

It was terrifying. 

But Sanji couldn’t help watching until the end, watching as the red-haired man fucked into the pink-haired woman, his hips guided by the strength in Zoro as he pushed into the man, controlling the pleasure of both persons underneath him.

He had completely forgotten to touch himself, only noticing how hard he was until the video ended.

He clicked on the next link without thinking, and he didn’t stop the video, not even when it was clear that no woman was going to appear.

And so, that’s how Sanji found himself watching gay porn.

The video has already reloaded, playing the same scene that got Sanji to come harder than he has ever come outside of real sex.

His thighs are sticky, his hand feels gross, and his body is in shock.

Sanji is not gay.

But he might be bi.

**Author's Note:**

> It was a little weird changing tenses in the middle of the story, but I think I made a pretty good job at marking the change in time. First time trying something like this, so let me know how I did!!
> 
> Not beta'd.


End file.
